When I started working with deities, I thought it would be simple. A candle here, a prayer there. Something comforting, maybe a bit mystical.
What actually happened was harder—and much more real.
Deity work pulled things to the surface I didn’t expect. Fears, habits, grief I’d buried. But it also gave me strength. I saw sides of myself I’d ignored. I found support where I used to feel alone.
This isn’t about doing rituals “right.” It’s about forming a relationship—with something ancient, powerful, and sometimes uncomfortable. If you’re feeling called to start, that’s your signal. Something in you is ready.
What You’ll Need to Get Started
You don’t need fancy tools to begin deity work—but having a few things ready can help you stay focused and intentional. Here’s what I suggest:
A Sacred Space or Altar
This doesn’t have to be big. Just a quiet spot where you can focus. A shelf, a corner, a small table. It becomes the place you return to when you want to connect.
A Symbol or Image
Having something that represents the deity you’re working with—like a statue, photo, or object—can make the connection feel stronger. It gives you something to focus on.
An Offering
Offerings are a way to show respect. It could be a flower, a cup of tea, a piece of fruit, a song, or even your time. What matters is that it’s heartfelt.
Simple Tools for Ritual
Candles, incense, crystals—use what feels right to you. These aren’t required, but they can help shift your energy and mark your time with the divine as special.
Get Clear on Why You’re Doing This
Before you connect with a deity, take a moment to ask yourself why. What’s drawing you to this path? What do you hope to learn, heal, or grow into?
Knowing your intention is the most important part of starting this work.
Think About Your Why
Are you looking for guidance? Strength? Support during a big life change? Getting clear on this helps you build a stronger, more focused connection.
Reflect on What Matters to You
Think about your values. What do you believe in? What do you care about? The answers will help you choose a deity who aligns with you—and keep your practice honest and grounded.
Write It Down
Journaling helps make your intentions real. You don’t need to write pages. Just a few lines about what you’re hoping to create or understand. It becomes something to come back to later.
What Types of Deities Are There—and How Do You Choose?
There’s no one right deity to work with. Different gods and goddesses hold different energies. Some will draw you in straight away. Others you’ll only understand after spending time with them.
1. Mother or Nurturing Deities
These offer comfort, healing, and protection. Good if you’re looking to feel held or safe. Examples: Isis, Brigid, Demeter.
2. Warrior or Protector Deities
They help you stand your ground, build courage, and face hard things. Examples: Sekhmet, Ares, Kali, Odin.
3. Wisdom and Knowledge Deities
Great for spiritual learning, intuition, or study. Examples: Athena, Thoth, Saraswati.
4. Underworld or Shadow Deities
These push you to face your fears, grief, or hidden parts of yourself. Not easy—but powerful. Examples: Hecate, Persephone, Anubis, Hel.
5. Love and Beauty Deities
Support with self-worth, attraction, and emotional healing. Examples: Aphrodite, Freyja, Oshun.
6. Trickster or Change-Maker Deities
They’ll shake things up and challenge your comfort zone. Great if you’re stuck or ready to transform. Examples: Loki, Hermes, Eshu.
How to Choose One to Start With
Don’t overthink it. You don’t need to “pick the right one.” You just need to notice who’s calling. Here’s what helped me:
- Follow the signs. If a name, animal, symbol, or myth keeps showing up, pay attention. That’s often how a deity starts reaching out.
- Think about what you need. Do you need support, protection, healing, clarity, strength? Match that need to the energy of a deity.
- Start with one. You don’t need to connect with a whole pantheon. Start with one relationship and let it unfold naturally.
- Feel your way. Some deities feel warm and inviting. Others might challenge you—but still feel right. Trust your gut.
Signs a Deity Is Calling You
Sometimes the pull is subtle. Sometimes it’s loud. Here’s how you might know a deity is reaching out:
- You keep seeing their name, symbol, or animals everywhere.
- Their mythology suddenly feels deeply personal.
- You dream about them.
- You feel a strong emotional reaction when learning about them.
- You’re going through life changes tied to their domain.
These are invitations, not demands. If something feels aligned—explore it.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
No one starts out perfect, but here are some things to steer clear of:
- Working with too many deities at once.
- Ignoring the cultural context of a deity.
- Expecting fast results or constant signs.
- Treating deity work like a checklist.
- Forcing it when the connection feels flat or wrong.
This is a relationship, not a transaction.
Create a Sacred Space
A sacred space gives you a quiet place to focus and connect. It doesn’t have to be big or perfect—it just needs to feel special to you.
Pick a Peaceful Spot
Choose a calm corner in your home where you won’t be disturbed. It could be a windowsill, a shelf, or a small table. The key is privacy and peace.
Add Meaningful Elements
Decorate your space with things that reflect your intention. You might use candles, crystals, incense, photos, or colors that inspire you. Make it feel like a place you want to return to often.
Set It Up with Care
As you build your altar, do it slowly and with purpose. Light a candle. Say a few words. Play soft music or sit in silence. The process itself can be a ritual.
Your sacred space becomes a mirror of your practice. It shows your commitment—and helps you stay grounded in your journey.
Learn About the Deity You Want to Work With
Before you begin working with a deity, take some time to get to know them. Learning their stories, traits, and history helps you build a respectful and meaningful connection.
Read Their Stories
Look into the myths and legends connected to the deity. These stories help you understand how they’re seen, what they value, and how they’ve guided people in the past.
Notice Their Qualities
Each deity has unique traits. Some represent love or wisdom. Others bring strength, change, or protection. Knowing these qualities helps you choose a deity who fits with what you’re working on in your life.
Understand the Cultural Background
Every deity comes from a specific culture. Learning where they come from shows respect—and it also deepens your understanding of how they’re honored. This helps you work with them in a thoughtful and informed way.
This step is about more than picking a name. It’s about building a real connection—with honesty, care, and curiosity.
Build a Real Connection
Like any relationship, connecting with a deity takes time, patience, and consistency. The more you show up with an open heart, the deeper the bond becomes.
Meditate Regularly
Set aside time to sit quietly and focus on your chosen deity. Picture them. Feel their energy. You don’t have to get it perfect—just be present and open.
Include Them in Your Rituals
Say their name during your rituals. Light a candle for them. Make offerings. Invite them in whenever you do spiritual work. It helps create a rhythm and builds trust.
Watch for Signs
Pay attention to dreams, gut feelings, synchronicities, or random thoughts that stand out. These might be subtle ways your deity is reaching out. Write them down if they feel important.
This step is about showing up—not perfectly, but consistently. Over time, your relationship will grow into something meaningful and deeply personal.
How You’ll Know It’s Working
Not everything will feel big and magical. Sometimes it’s small but real. Here are signs you’re building a connection:
- You feel calmer, clearer, or supported after rituals.
- You notice repeating patterns or symbols.
- You feel guided in decisions or emotional shifts.
- You’re challenged to grow—but in ways that make sense.
Deity work often shows up in subtle, consistent ways.
Make Offerings and Create Rituals
Offerings and rituals are how you show respect, gratitude, and devotion. They’re simple acts that say, “I’m here, I care, and I’m committed.”
They also help keep your connection strong.
Choose Offerings That Feel Right
Every deity has different preferences, but most appreciate gifts given with love. Offer food, flowers, incense, water, art, or even your time. Think about what feels meaningful—and choose with care.
Create Personal Rituals
Turn your offering into a small ritual. Light a candle, say a prayer, speak from the heart. Keep it simple or make it detailed—what matters is that it reflects your intention and feels honest.
Offer with Respect
Place your offering gently and take a moment to pause. Speak or think your gratitude. Let the moment feel sacred. Your energy matters more than the item itself.
Easy Daily Practices
You don’t need to wait for a full moon. Here are small ways to connect every day:
- Light a candle each morning and say their name.
- Offer your morning tea or coffee as a moment of thanks.
- Speak to them while walking, journaling, or cleaning.
- Keep a crystal or token nearby and touch it when you need support.
Consistency is more important than complexity.
Stay in Touch
Building a connection with a deity is just the beginning. Keeping that connection strong means showing up regularly—just like you would in any other relationship.
Use Prayer or Speak Out Loud
You don’t need perfect words. Just talk to your deity. Share your thoughts, ask questions, say thank you. Speaking from the heart keeps the connection alive.
Be Open to Messages
Deities often respond in subtle ways—through dreams, symbols, sudden thoughts, or signs in daily life. Stay open. Pay attention. Trust what you notice.
Make Time to Reflect
Take a few minutes each day or week to sit with your experiences. What’s been showing up lately? How do you feel during or after rituals? Reflection brings clarity.
Respect Boundaries
Deities are powerful beings with their own energies, preferences, and ways of working. Respect is key to keeping the relationship healthy.
Learn Their Traditions
Every deity comes from a specific culture or path. Do a little research. Learn how they’ve been honored in the past, and be mindful of that in your practice.
Pay Attention to How You Feel
If something feels off, overwhelming, or draining, take a step back. Respect includes honoring your limits too.
Say Thank You Often
Gratitude builds trust and shows you value the relationship. A simple “thank you” after a ritual can go a long way.
Quick FAQ
Can I work with more than one deity?
Yes—but start with one. It’s better to build one solid relationship than many shallow ones.
What if I don’t feel anything?
That’s normal at first. Keep showing up. The connection builds over time.
What if I choose the wrong deity?
You’ll know. If the energy feels off, it’s okay to pause and shift.
What if I make a mistake?
Deities aren’t looking for perfection. They care more about sincerity than flawless rituals.
Do I have to be part of a religion?
No. Anyone on a spiritual path can work with deities. You just need respect and openness.
This path is a journey, not a performance. Be honest, be open, and take your time. You’re not just learning about deities—you’re learning about yourself too.